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The Man Who Ate Himself to Death

Calvin had spent a year planning his final meal. Every element had been carefully plotted. Each dish was selected to be delicious. Every mouthful was intended to be decadent. The quality of every ingredient was assured, and co-ordination of the wines was thoughtful and imaginative. The table linen was pristine, the cutlery a joy to…

Maiden Aunt

I phoned Cousin Alec last night to ask why he hadn’t come up to see me. He told me that his Cathy had been up last week and so she’d told me all his news, but really? I mean, Cathy’s a nice enough lassie, and she brought thon big box of biscuits with her, nice…

Magic Al’s Mysterious Teleportation Show

A woman in the second back row of the theatre sprang to her feet, shrieked, “IT’S HERE! OH MY GOD IT’S HERE!”, and waved a wristwatch above her head. The rest of the audience turned to see her, and wild applause broke out. From the stage, Magic Al beamed and nodded encouragingly, as if she…